I went on line last night, and on the spur of the moment, decided to search the Internet to see if my pre-school of deaf school days in the South still existed. It is still there, after all these years. The school is sixty-three years old today. It was there my parents learned of yet another school in the Midwest, from pre-kindergarten through Grade 12, one that was founded even earlier than my old pre-school of deaf school days.
I owe a tremendous debt to these two schools for the deaf - both of which promote oral education, the use of hearing aids, other auxiliary aids, cochlear implants, speech, lipreading, elementary school subjects, and literacy. These schools laid the foundation for me to successfully communicate using my voice, by lipreading and usage of hearing aids in a hearing world.
Like it or not, we live in a world where people hear. My parents, bless their souls, being hearing, wanted what they thought was best for me. I have said over and over, I am so grateful they did. I was blessed in that I was able to utilize hearing aids, learned to lipread, speak and succeed. Once I was mainstreamed into public schools with hearing students, I never returned to a school for the deaf. I graduated from a high school with hearing peers, I graduated from a university in the South with a bachelor's and masters' degree, also with hearing students.
I think it is telling that deaf schools which promote oral education have stood the test of time while many state schools for the deaf which promoted sign language no longer exist. There's a lot to be said for that.
Here's my pet peeve with the Audism Movement. All this talk about cultural genocide and forcing cochlear implants on infants without their consent suggests that hearing mothers and fathers are not "fit" parents. Here's the flip side of the coin: what if Hearing Society decided today that all deaf men and women who are of childbearing age should be sterilized so they won't have deaf babies?
Imagine the outrage. The American Civil Liberties Union would be all over this. Some of us remember when people of color and people who were mentally challenged WERE sterilized without their consent or knowledge so they wouldn't have children.
It is absolutely devastating to a hearing adult to suddenly lose his or her hearing. That hearing adult has hearing memory, and remembers what it is like to have "normal hearing." It is only natural that hearing parents, upon learning they have a deaf child are devastated. Think about it. Hearing is all they KNOW. They don't have a clue of what deafness is other than the fact that their child cannot hear.
Most parents, whether they have a disability or not, want what is best for their child. Who has the right to label them [hearing parents] as "unfit" or deserving to have their genitalia cut off if they "force" their babies to be implanted with cochlear implants, or, if they cannot afford the cochlear implants, to use hearing aids, and to learn to speak, lipread? I haven't heard of an infant or child being killed with a cochlear implant. Certainly there are risks, there is risk with any surgery, even dental surgery.
If that deaf child does poorly with hearing aids, is not a good lipreader nor speaks coherently or well, then sign language is a better option. One caveat: If you are a hearing parent, are reading this, and are feeling like a failure because your deaf child is not successful in speaking, lipreading, hearing aid usage, DON'T. You did what you thought was best, now move on.
Not all deaf people are successful in speaking, lipreading or in using hearing aids. That's okay. That's really okay, and you are not a failure.
Just don't crucify the hearing parents if they choose for their deaf child, an oral education, hearing aids, cochlear implants, and immersion into hearing society. They feel guilty enough for giving birth to a child, in their eyes, that is less than perfect.
There are many of us who are deaf who were born before cochlear implants even existed. We have paid dearly just because we ARE deaf. We have been treated differently. People have wrongly assumed we cannot communicate as well as Hearing Society, whether it be by means of the written word, speech or sign language. Should we go on in life carrying a chip on our shoulder against Hearing Society because of real or imagined wrongs against us? What is the point in that?
I honestly believe that one day cochlear implants will be covered by all private health insurance - 80% to 90% coverage, and that cochlear implants will be affordable for all who qualify for a cochlear implant or two.
I am delighted there are deaf cochlear implant recipients who, after being implanted as babies or toddlers, are now medical doctors and dentists, lawyers. Cochlear implants have afforded these people a level playing field with their hearing peers, especially when it comes to having skill sets that are in demand in today's labor market, and salaries commensurate with the hearing workforce.
While I am not a doctor or a lawyer, I have succeeded, and continue to succeed, in Hearing Society. Having a cochlear implant, has broadened my horizons, and I am anxious for more. Hearing is such a gift and a blessing. My successes have been a long time in coming, which is why I don't take success for granted. Thank God for all that auditory training, the rhythm classes, the endless speech therapy, the hearing tests, the hearing aid fitting, more hearing aids over time, the tutoring, all the volunteers who took notes for me in classes as my hearing continued to deteriorate. Having parents and family who were dedicated to seeing me succeed was crucial. All this set the foundation for my successful eight month old journey as a cochlear implant recipient.
Just goes to say you CAN teach an older dog new tricks!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Ignorance, Bias and Fear
There's a new show on the ABC Family Channel. It's called "Switched at Birth." There were some inaccuracies on that show about cochlear implants - that cochlear implants was "brain surgery." Well, excuse me, my surgeon didn't cut into my brain to implant the cochlear implant. The surgical incision was directly behind my left ear.
It has been more than nine months since I had my cochlear implant surgery, eight months since the implant was turned on. I'm still deaf. I'm a deaf person with a cochlear implant. I like the show, "Switched at Birth," but I wish the producers had gotten their facts straight before airing that episode in which Daphne's mother says getting a cochlear implant is brain surgery. Some producers will do anything for ratings. Still, "Switched at Birth" is a good show and I enjoy watching it.
I've never been a parent. I am the only deaf relative in my family. My siblings are hearing. My nieces and nephews are hearing. I speak and lipread. My attempts at signing and fingerspelling is that of a five year old. I admit to being just abysmal at sign language - especially fingerspelling.
Not everybody can speak and lipread coherently, I'll be the first person to say that. I was reading a social network page, and on that page there was a comment from someone from deaf school days who suggested that hearing parents who force cochlear implants on deaf babies without their consent should have their "private parts' cut off.
I thought about that comment for a moment. It saddened me. Then I thought about how much joy I get from hearing with a cochlear implant, and immediately my spirits lifted.
The last eight months have been so life-altering it is hard for me to put it in words.
I have made new friends. I have more energy now, because I don't have to work so hard to lipread. I am no longer so physically drained from the work challenges in my office, that I go home and sleep for 13 hours straight.
I was already at the point where hearing aids were not helping me as far as understanding speech. Last April 2010, I tested within the physical limits of the audiogram. I am not a deaf person who grew up with deaf culture. My world, for the most part, has been in a hearing world. I am still the only deaf person in my immediate office.
What I have come to understand over time, is that people who are deaf can be just as biased as someone who is a minority. You know it when someone says, "You are not black enough because you are trying too hard to be white." Well, there are deaf people who would reject me as being "Deaf," because my first language is not Sign Language, I speak, lipread, wore hearing aids from age two and a half until eight months ago. I can no more "hide" being deaf than someone with a dark complexion can hide his or her color.
I am too deaf for that. If I were what hearing society calls "hard of hearing," then yeah, I could fake being a hearing person for a while until someone figured it out.
My hearing journey has not been easy. Hearing with a cochlear implant as a deaf adult is challenging. Not wearing a hearing aid in my non-implanted ear for the last eight months was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I put on my hearing aid in my right ear for about a week last month. Right away I could tell the difference in the fidelity of my ancient nine year old behind the ear hearing aid and the fidelity, quality of sound with the cochlear implant. The quality of sound with the hearing aid was very poor compared with the quality of sound with the cochlear implant. I took the hearing aid off and haven't put it back in since.
Bias comes from ignorance. People tend to be afraid of what they don't know. I think a lot of deaf people fear a cochlear implant because they are afraid somehow that a cochlear implant will make them less "Deaf." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant. The cochlear implant did not "cure" my deafness. I am still deaf when I take off the sound processor at night and recharge the battery. I still depend on a dawn simulator lamp to wake me up in the morning. I still rely on visual cues, probably because people who have been deafened at a young age tend to be very visual.
I am not to the point where I can talk on the telephone without the aid of captioning. While I can now understand words and some complete sentences, it is more challenging to hear speech in a noisy environment. I still use a data only Blackberry. The process of hearing with a cochlear implant is exactly that, a process. I will get a cell phone when I am confident I can hear and fully understand speech over a cell phone.
The decision to get a cochlear implant was very personal for me. It was a decision that was totally 100% mine.
I would never force a cochlear implant on anyone who didn't want a cochlear implant. I still plan on having my right ear implanted when the time and circumstances are right. My friends who have cochlear implants in both ears tell me it is like stereo "surround sound."
Now that I have had my cochlear implant for nine months, I want to hear more. As for being 100% deaf after implantation? With my left ear, I had the cochlear implant done in what audiologists call my "worst" ear. I had so little residual hearing left in that ear, I didn't miss it.
I can only speak for what is my own truth, what is real for me.
I would be a liar if I said that I had never been hurt, experienced discrimination because of my deafness. I have never had an issue with being deaf. NEVER. What I have had issues with, is how people perceive my ability to be successful in a hearing world BECAUSE I am deaf.
My older sister said to me recently, that she didn't fathom how deaf I was until I described in a earlier blog that with the cochlear implant, I could hear myself typing on the computer keyboard. That just blew her mind, and it was a real aha! moment for my sister.
There was a co-worker, who has since left my organization, who once told me that shaking my head "yes," in a meeting made me "look stupid," and that I would be "better off," if I didn't shake my head, "yes." Being hearing, the fool didn't have a clue that my nodding my head, "yes," was a perfectly natural, visual reaction for a deaf person. I just simply told him I would take his "constructive criticism" into consideration. That seemed to please him and he left my office. I remember shaking my head at this person's idiocy.
Certainly I have been treated differently because of my deafness. ABSOLUTELY. That still hasn't changed because I have a cochlear implant. As soon as I start talking, people recognize that I am not hearing. Again, I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant.
I am NOT going to use my deafness as my personal platform to impose upon people about what I think somebody should do. My deafness doesn't define who I am as a person. It never has.
A cochlear implant hasn't magically made my challenges as a deaf person go away. What a cochlear implant has done for me, it has greatly improved my quality of life. I feel like I am hearing in High Definition. People talk about how High Definition Flat Screen TV has really enhanced their television viewing. Well, I'm hearing in technicolor, high definition and stereo!
Well that's my sermon for this Sunday!
It has been more than nine months since I had my cochlear implant surgery, eight months since the implant was turned on. I'm still deaf. I'm a deaf person with a cochlear implant. I like the show, "Switched at Birth," but I wish the producers had gotten their facts straight before airing that episode in which Daphne's mother says getting a cochlear implant is brain surgery. Some producers will do anything for ratings. Still, "Switched at Birth" is a good show and I enjoy watching it.
I've never been a parent. I am the only deaf relative in my family. My siblings are hearing. My nieces and nephews are hearing. I speak and lipread. My attempts at signing and fingerspelling is that of a five year old. I admit to being just abysmal at sign language - especially fingerspelling.
Not everybody can speak and lipread coherently, I'll be the first person to say that. I was reading a social network page, and on that page there was a comment from someone from deaf school days who suggested that hearing parents who force cochlear implants on deaf babies without their consent should have their "private parts' cut off.
I thought about that comment for a moment. It saddened me. Then I thought about how much joy I get from hearing with a cochlear implant, and immediately my spirits lifted.
The last eight months have been so life-altering it is hard for me to put it in words.
I have made new friends. I have more energy now, because I don't have to work so hard to lipread. I am no longer so physically drained from the work challenges in my office, that I go home and sleep for 13 hours straight.
I was already at the point where hearing aids were not helping me as far as understanding speech. Last April 2010, I tested within the physical limits of the audiogram. I am not a deaf person who grew up with deaf culture. My world, for the most part, has been in a hearing world. I am still the only deaf person in my immediate office.
What I have come to understand over time, is that people who are deaf can be just as biased as someone who is a minority. You know it when someone says, "You are not black enough because you are trying too hard to be white." Well, there are deaf people who would reject me as being "Deaf," because my first language is not Sign Language, I speak, lipread, wore hearing aids from age two and a half until eight months ago. I can no more "hide" being deaf than someone with a dark complexion can hide his or her color.
I am too deaf for that. If I were what hearing society calls "hard of hearing," then yeah, I could fake being a hearing person for a while until someone figured it out.
My hearing journey has not been easy. Hearing with a cochlear implant as a deaf adult is challenging. Not wearing a hearing aid in my non-implanted ear for the last eight months was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I put on my hearing aid in my right ear for about a week last month. Right away I could tell the difference in the fidelity of my ancient nine year old behind the ear hearing aid and the fidelity, quality of sound with the cochlear implant. The quality of sound with the hearing aid was very poor compared with the quality of sound with the cochlear implant. I took the hearing aid off and haven't put it back in since.
Bias comes from ignorance. People tend to be afraid of what they don't know. I think a lot of deaf people fear a cochlear implant because they are afraid somehow that a cochlear implant will make them less "Deaf." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant. The cochlear implant did not "cure" my deafness. I am still deaf when I take off the sound processor at night and recharge the battery. I still depend on a dawn simulator lamp to wake me up in the morning. I still rely on visual cues, probably because people who have been deafened at a young age tend to be very visual.
I am not to the point where I can talk on the telephone without the aid of captioning. While I can now understand words and some complete sentences, it is more challenging to hear speech in a noisy environment. I still use a data only Blackberry. The process of hearing with a cochlear implant is exactly that, a process. I will get a cell phone when I am confident I can hear and fully understand speech over a cell phone.
The decision to get a cochlear implant was very personal for me. It was a decision that was totally 100% mine.
I would never force a cochlear implant on anyone who didn't want a cochlear implant. I still plan on having my right ear implanted when the time and circumstances are right. My friends who have cochlear implants in both ears tell me it is like stereo "surround sound."
Now that I have had my cochlear implant for nine months, I want to hear more. As for being 100% deaf after implantation? With my left ear, I had the cochlear implant done in what audiologists call my "worst" ear. I had so little residual hearing left in that ear, I didn't miss it.
I can only speak for what is my own truth, what is real for me.
I would be a liar if I said that I had never been hurt, experienced discrimination because of my deafness. I have never had an issue with being deaf. NEVER. What I have had issues with, is how people perceive my ability to be successful in a hearing world BECAUSE I am deaf.
My older sister said to me recently, that she didn't fathom how deaf I was until I described in a earlier blog that with the cochlear implant, I could hear myself typing on the computer keyboard. That just blew her mind, and it was a real aha! moment for my sister.
There was a co-worker, who has since left my organization, who once told me that shaking my head "yes," in a meeting made me "look stupid," and that I would be "better off," if I didn't shake my head, "yes." Being hearing, the fool didn't have a clue that my nodding my head, "yes," was a perfectly natural, visual reaction for a deaf person. I just simply told him I would take his "constructive criticism" into consideration. That seemed to please him and he left my office. I remember shaking my head at this person's idiocy.
Certainly I have been treated differently because of my deafness. ABSOLUTELY. That still hasn't changed because I have a cochlear implant. As soon as I start talking, people recognize that I am not hearing. Again, I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant.
I am NOT going to use my deafness as my personal platform to impose upon people about what I think somebody should do. My deafness doesn't define who I am as a person. It never has.
A cochlear implant hasn't magically made my challenges as a deaf person go away. What a cochlear implant has done for me, it has greatly improved my quality of life. I feel like I am hearing in High Definition. People talk about how High Definition Flat Screen TV has really enhanced their television viewing. Well, I'm hearing in technicolor, high definition and stereo!
Well that's my sermon for this Sunday!
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