Tuesday I had to go to the hospital to have two medical procedures done requiring anesthesia. A friend drove me to the hospital as I wasn't permitted to drive home afterwards. Prior to my medical procedures, I had filled out an online history, and had an interview with a nurse over the telephone. This was my first medical procedure as a bilateral cochlear implant recipient.
The nurse who interviewed me was really concerned how the medical staff was going to alert me to wake up after the procedure. I explained that I would be wearing my cochlear implant processors, and that I lipread well, and communication shouldn't be an issue.
I told this to my friend who was really amused. She asked me, "Mindy, when you had hearing aids and had to take them off to sleep, how did people wake you up?" I shook her shoulder in response. She laughed. Well, I have to take off my cochlear implant processors to go to sleep at night, so I use alternative methods to wake myself up.
When my friend and I arrived, I was wearing my freestyle cochlear implant processors clipped to my hair. I went through the registration process. I was asked to verify in writing that I was deaf, did not need a sign language interpreter or "special devices" as an accommodation. I again explained that I was a bilateral cochlear implant recipient and that communication shouldn't be an issue. The hospital employee asked me to indicate that I lipread. To her credit, she told me that if she talked too fast, to let her know. I thanked her.
I had to remove my glasses, so lipreading was challenging as faces were fuzzy. However, I had little problem appropriately responding to the questions and conversation. I kept the cochlear implant processors on. I wish I had thought to secure the headpieces with first aid tape before I lay on my left side and was anesthesized. It would have been interesting to experience hearing conversations under anesthesia.
When I was in recovery, I secured the headpieces to the magnets, and could hear again.
I had no issues with communication, and went through the procedures with flying colors.
My friend drove me home, and I watched a tv program and the news. I decided to go take a nap as I was cold (a common reaction for me). I slept for five hours.
I decided to look at my discharge folder and patient record. To my great amusement, there was a yellow label all across the folder with the universal sign for "hearing impairment." Inside the folder was a post-it sticky note that said in black Sharpie pen lettering, "Speech impediment" please speak slowly and carefully."
I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I am not old enough to be on Medicare, Social Security, and I am still gainfully employed full time. You would think I was on the high side of a 100, or, had suffered some neurological event, such as a stroke which impaired my speech.
As it is the Christmas Season, I probably should have had a neon sign which read:
NEWSFLASH: Patient is a bilateral cochlear implant recipient who wears CI processors, allowing her to hear. She doesn't use sign language, speaks articulately, is readily understood, lipreads well, and isn't elderly.
In my view, medical personnel need to be educated about cochlear implants, beginning with the fact that a cochlear implant is not a hearing aid, doesn't amplify sound.
Maybe I should volunteer my services to the hospital...
Now there's a thought.
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