Yesterday it was one year ago that I had cochlear implant surgery and my left ear implanted.
What a year it has been! I just spent six days on the West Coast - visiting my older sister and meeting two paternal first cousins for the first time. I also gave a talk at a meeting at my sister's home about what my year with a cochlear implant has been like.
I am still hearing new sounds, a year later. My older sister has an Apple Mac laptop, and when she would send an e-mail from her laptop, it made a "whooshing" sound. I also met some delightful people from the business community at my sister's home. Many greeted me as one would an old friend. My sister has talked about me and so many of her friends feel they know me. I could not have felt more loved or welcome.
My paternal grandmother gave birth to a son who my two sisters and I did not know was my father's half brother. My older sister and I were delighted to meet our paternal first cousins, as we thought most of the family on that side of the family had long since died. We told our stories and pored through pictures. My older sister, our cousins and I were able to identify shared family photographs and there was no mistaking the family resemblance. It was an emotional, joyous visit, meeting other extended family members, and getting to know each other. I wish my younger sister had been able to make the journey, but I know there will be other opportunities.
We paid a visit to a veteran's cemetery to pay our respects to a cousins' son who died in the First Gulf War. As there were no remains, there is just a marker. We all brought flowers. Our older cousin said her son had been a real family man and he would have been so happy we found each other.
I know this - my life has been enriched by this visit and hearing journey. I met an audiologist who gave a presentation of the particular implant I chose. My sister remarked later that she could tell the audiologist had a heart and passion for her work. I told my older sister that the entire cochlear implant community network had that same heart and passion for how life changing, enriching a cochlear implant can be.
I could not have envisioned what this hearing journey, the sound flavorings, would be like for me. It has been a wonderful blessing and I have made so many new friends. I am making plans to have my right ear implanted in the near future and look forward to what I call surround sound.
Last night before I left for the airport to return home, I had an interesting experience. A gentleman introduced himself and said that I could have been "helped" by a behind the ear hearing aid he had brought with him. He fitted it inside my right ear with a in the canal earmold. The ear mold wasn't custom made to my ear, but I could hear noises and amplification. What I didn't tell him, was that the gain in hearing with that behind the ear hearing aid was probably one-quarter of what I was hearing with the cochlear implant sound processor. The cochlear implant sound processor I wear far exceeded the fidelity, quality of sound of the behind the ear hearing aid I tried on for him.
That experience gave me a glimpse of what binaural cochlear implantation will be like: having a miniature bose stereo sound processor in each ear. The only way I can describe it is like this - an analogy I have used before - I am hearing in technicolor, high definition - HD. The quality of the cochlear implant sound processor far exceeds what amplification of a hearing aid is like.
I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant. It isn't brain surgery. The technology of this cochlear implant has truly enriched my life. I am looking forward to having my right ear implanted and experiencing more sound flavorings.
Hearing is such a gift.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A birthday, an island, abundant sunshine and tree frogs
A good friend and I took a long weekend which had been planned and celebrated my birthday by leaving the country for a few days. We desperately needed a break from work and needed to recharge our batteries. We had never been to this small country before and were delighted with the weather, scenic views, abundant sunshine, great food, great drinks. We celebrated with a bottle of champagne on my birthday. We spent hours touring this country.
I had no issues with my cochlear implant or going through security. Another milestone. I was glad that I could travel with my sound processor, my travel case containing the rechargeable battery charger with the interchangeable plugs without issues. I had a few challenging moments in noisy restaurants but nothing like my hearing aid days. I'm progressing nicely, I think. My confidence in using the sound processor is getting better. I'm not afraid to experiment with the settings and try different things.
I heard what I thought were birds chirping. My friend said the chirping was actually tree frogs going, "Beep"! and replicated the sound for me. After my friend did that, I focused on the sound and listened. The tree frogs sounded just like my friend described to me.
It was a fun long weekend, with lots of laughter, good times, and much needed relaxation. We spent our last night relaxing in the hotel pools - first a chlorinated pool and then a saltwater pool. I liked the saltwater pool best. The water was warm in the evening, and really relaxing. I reluctantly returned to work on Tuesday.
Hearing is such a gift.
I had no issues with my cochlear implant or going through security. Another milestone. I was glad that I could travel with my sound processor, my travel case containing the rechargeable battery charger with the interchangeable plugs without issues. I had a few challenging moments in noisy restaurants but nothing like my hearing aid days. I'm progressing nicely, I think. My confidence in using the sound processor is getting better. I'm not afraid to experiment with the settings and try different things.
I heard what I thought were birds chirping. My friend said the chirping was actually tree frogs going, "Beep"! and replicated the sound for me. After my friend did that, I focused on the sound and listened. The tree frogs sounded just like my friend described to me.
It was a fun long weekend, with lots of laughter, good times, and much needed relaxation. We spent our last night relaxing in the hotel pools - first a chlorinated pool and then a saltwater pool. I liked the saltwater pool best. The water was warm in the evening, and really relaxing. I reluctantly returned to work on Tuesday.
Hearing is such a gift.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A Vineyard, Wine tasting and some "unplugged" music!
Last Saturday I went with some friends to a local vineyard for some wine tasting and good music. This was the first time I had been to a "live" music performance post-cochlear implant involving two professional musical artists. We brought picnic food and had ourselves a good time! All work and no play had made me cranky and I just absolutely had to get out of the house and have some fun!
I set my cochlear sound processor on "quiet." The music was definitely loud by my definition because I could feel the music of the electric guitar on the floor, through the speakers, and up my back. "Loudness" with a cochlear implant and a sound processor isn't painfully loud, just noisy. Still, I could tell when the music got cranked up a bit. When one musician invited a woman from the audience to sing a song along with him, she did, and both did a great job of it. For the first time post-cochlear implant, I heard most of the lyrics and their voices did NOT sound scratchy!!! I also had my picture taken with this musician and told him about my cochlear implant and that it was the first time I had heard his music with it. He was delighted.
What a breakthrough! I have had no difficulty picking out sounds of musical instruments from the beginning of activation day, but hearing and understanding lyrics has been a challenge without being prompted by captioning or reading the lyric sheet of a CD.
I now see what my online cochlear implanted veterans are talking about when suggesting turning UP the music or the volume control on the sound processor. It does make a difference in processing and understanding speech.
As for the wine? All of the wines were delicious. I was delighted. I also thought it was terrific to offer wine tastings with live entertainment. The vineyard hasn't been in business long, but I don't know of any other vineyard that offers live entertainment venues along with wine tasting. What a novel idea!
I am not yet completely deaf in my non-implanted ear, but I did notice the residual hearing is going fast. Both of my BTE hearing aids have died (they were nine years old). My one year
"earversary" (anniversary) will be October 12th. I will have my one year "tweaking" session in November at the Cochlear Implant Clinic. I am also going to have an audiogram of my right ear done and begin planning for cochlear implantation of my right ear sometime next year. A good friend told me that when I have my right ear implanted and activated, she will take me to a symphony. I think I'd like that.
I can't wait for what I call "surround sound"! It really will be like having a miniature BOSE stereo receiver in both of my ears!!!
I still like heavy metal music. I love feeling the thrumming of the bass guitars, the rhythm, the beat. I like a good guitar riff and a great drum solo anytime. I'm still a rock n' roll girl at heart...!
That doesn't mean I'm closed minded to listening to a live symphony or an opera. Not at all. I have already been to one live musical, which was "Wicked"! I would go see it again.
What an amazing 11 months it has been. It indeed has been sound flavorings anew, as well as hearing some new sounds. I'm still hungry for more.
Hearing with a cochlear implant is such a gift.
I set my cochlear sound processor on "quiet." The music was definitely loud by my definition because I could feel the music of the electric guitar on the floor, through the speakers, and up my back. "Loudness" with a cochlear implant and a sound processor isn't painfully loud, just noisy. Still, I could tell when the music got cranked up a bit. When one musician invited a woman from the audience to sing a song along with him, she did, and both did a great job of it. For the first time post-cochlear implant, I heard most of the lyrics and their voices did NOT sound scratchy!!! I also had my picture taken with this musician and told him about my cochlear implant and that it was the first time I had heard his music with it. He was delighted.
What a breakthrough! I have had no difficulty picking out sounds of musical instruments from the beginning of activation day, but hearing and understanding lyrics has been a challenge without being prompted by captioning or reading the lyric sheet of a CD.
I now see what my online cochlear implanted veterans are talking about when suggesting turning UP the music or the volume control on the sound processor. It does make a difference in processing and understanding speech.
As for the wine? All of the wines were delicious. I was delighted. I also thought it was terrific to offer wine tastings with live entertainment. The vineyard hasn't been in business long, but I don't know of any other vineyard that offers live entertainment venues along with wine tasting. What a novel idea!
I am not yet completely deaf in my non-implanted ear, but I did notice the residual hearing is going fast. Both of my BTE hearing aids have died (they were nine years old). My one year
"earversary" (anniversary) will be October 12th. I will have my one year "tweaking" session in November at the Cochlear Implant Clinic. I am also going to have an audiogram of my right ear done and begin planning for cochlear implantation of my right ear sometime next year. A good friend told me that when I have my right ear implanted and activated, she will take me to a symphony. I think I'd like that.
I can't wait for what I call "surround sound"! It really will be like having a miniature BOSE stereo receiver in both of my ears!!!
I still like heavy metal music. I love feeling the thrumming of the bass guitars, the rhythm, the beat. I like a good guitar riff and a great drum solo anytime. I'm still a rock n' roll girl at heart...!
That doesn't mean I'm closed minded to listening to a live symphony or an opera. Not at all. I have already been to one live musical, which was "Wicked"! I would go see it again.
What an amazing 11 months it has been. It indeed has been sound flavorings anew, as well as hearing some new sounds. I'm still hungry for more.
Hearing with a cochlear implant is such a gift.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A loss, a journey, a family gathering, and some surprises
A much beloved Uncle by marriage passed away August 29th. He had battled multiple myeloma for nearly two and a half years, and was 83 years old when he died. My two sisters, a nephew, and I flew out separately down South last Thursday to remember and honor him. This was my first trip on an airplane post cochlear implant. I walked through the metal detectors at the airport and no alarms blared or flashed. I carried my cochlear implant travel case with my battery charger and electric cord with interchangeable plugs and placed that travel case to be screened through the x-ray machine. Nobody asked for my medical implant ID card. I admit this was a source of anxiety for me despite being reassured by cochlear implant veterans that flying shouldn't be an issue with a cochlear implant. To my relief, it wasn't, and that was one less thing to worry about.
After landing at my destination, I picked up my rental SUV and drove the 40 minutes to my Aunt's house. She was glad to see me and we visited a while before I left for my cousin's house to change clothes and get ready for the visitation. I last saw my Aunt and Uncle last July, 2010. I had visited my aunt and uncle for a weekend last summer to celebrate my Aunt's 80th birthday - a surprise visit on my part.
Thinking I knew where the funeral home was, I had neglected to look for landmarks - and drove right past it. I stopped at a convenience store and asked for directions to the funeral home, knowing I had missed it.
The convenience store clerk immediately recognized I was deaf and simultaneously signed and spoke to me. So much for passing as a hearing person with a cochlear implant. Not happening! I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant!
That should satisfy the Deafies who think I am no longer "Deaf" because I have a cochlear implant. The Hearing World still views me as deaf, and I didn't even identify myself to the convenience store clerk as a deaf person. Go Figure.
Once at the funeral home, there was a long line of people waiting to greet my Aunt and my cousins, their wives and my Uncle and Aunt's three grand children. I walked up and saw the mother in law of one of my cousins. We greeted each other and hugged. The gathering was a bit noisy, but I could pretty much follow the conversation and respond appropriately. I saw one of my now retired Freshman English Professors from the University, and we hugged and talked. I showed her my cochlear implant sound processor and explained how it worked and how life changing it has been for me. I saw old neighbors and friends and we talked. My younger sister came in, and we hugged.
Our older sister arrived that night with her son, in from the West Coast at 1:30 AM Friday morning. My cousin, his wife and my sisters stayed up talking until around 5 AM. Knowing there was a 11:00 AM memorial service at church, I gave up and turned into bed around 2 AM.
Friday morning we all got up, dressed and went to church. My Uncle and Aunt's three grandchildren spoke of what they remembered of their beloved Papa, and I had absolutely no trouble hearing them. I had no difficulty understanding the pastor's homily nor the singing of the choir. I heard the music for the first time post implant, and to my surprise, it didn't sound the way I "remembered" it. I had to remind myself that hearing aids had amplified sound of a piano, organ, other musical instrument, and what I was hearing was at "normal" volume.
After the service, we went downstairs for refreshments which the church family had prepared for us, and I mingled around. I had no difficulty in carrying on conversations. We said our good byes and I drove to my cousin's house, ditched the church clothes for bare feet, shorts and a shirt. Later, one of my friends from deaf school days came by and I showed her my cochlear implant sound processor and explained how it worked. She was delighted for me.
Later, sitting with my family, Aunt, cousins, second cousins, outside that evening, I could hear the fire in the fire pit, the logs snapping, crackling, popping. I heard the cascading waterfall of the pool. I had asked one of my cousins earlier if the chirping noise were birds. He said he didn't think so.
The next night, I heard the chirping again, and told my younger sister, who told me that the chirping noises were crickets! She said it was a relaxing sound, and I said I didn't know if it was relaxing, but I was glad she identified the chirping sound for me! I could understand snatches of the conversation as the evening got dark, but still missed some of what was said. I decided to just focus on listening as auditory training. Still, when I think what my journey has been like for nearly ten months, it has been simply amazing. From first hearing voices as sounding like people were talking underwater, to understanding speech to scratchy singing, that's pretty good!
I am not yet at the point where I can fully understand a phone conversation without the aid of captioning or use a cell phone. I can definitely hear a person talking on a cell phone from a distance, but I cannot fully comprehend speech a hundred percent. I haven't yet tried out a cell phone to see if I can understand the conversation.
I hear airport announcements at the airport, but cannot fully comprehend what is being said. I still have to ask for clarification if I do not understand something. I can understand the flight attendants announce the boarding when a person holds up that mike thing with a cord. I can even understand part of the safety drill being spoken several rows down from the flight attendant, and that's progress.
We all reluctantly said our good byes and returned home. We all returned to work. When I was leaving the subway station earlier this evening, I could hear a musical instrument over the noise of home bound commuters and the road noise. As I approached the exit, I realized I was hearing a small harp being played by a young woman. I paused and listened and could pick out high to low sounds from that harp.
What a unexpected treat!
After landing at my destination, I picked up my rental SUV and drove the 40 minutes to my Aunt's house. She was glad to see me and we visited a while before I left for my cousin's house to change clothes and get ready for the visitation. I last saw my Aunt and Uncle last July, 2010. I had visited my aunt and uncle for a weekend last summer to celebrate my Aunt's 80th birthday - a surprise visit on my part.
Thinking I knew where the funeral home was, I had neglected to look for landmarks - and drove right past it. I stopped at a convenience store and asked for directions to the funeral home, knowing I had missed it.
The convenience store clerk immediately recognized I was deaf and simultaneously signed and spoke to me. So much for passing as a hearing person with a cochlear implant. Not happening! I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant!
That should satisfy the Deafies who think I am no longer "Deaf" because I have a cochlear implant. The Hearing World still views me as deaf, and I didn't even identify myself to the convenience store clerk as a deaf person. Go Figure.
Once at the funeral home, there was a long line of people waiting to greet my Aunt and my cousins, their wives and my Uncle and Aunt's three grand children. I walked up and saw the mother in law of one of my cousins. We greeted each other and hugged. The gathering was a bit noisy, but I could pretty much follow the conversation and respond appropriately. I saw one of my now retired Freshman English Professors from the University, and we hugged and talked. I showed her my cochlear implant sound processor and explained how it worked and how life changing it has been for me. I saw old neighbors and friends and we talked. My younger sister came in, and we hugged.
Our older sister arrived that night with her son, in from the West Coast at 1:30 AM Friday morning. My cousin, his wife and my sisters stayed up talking until around 5 AM. Knowing there was a 11:00 AM memorial service at church, I gave up and turned into bed around 2 AM.
Friday morning we all got up, dressed and went to church. My Uncle and Aunt's three grandchildren spoke of what they remembered of their beloved Papa, and I had absolutely no trouble hearing them. I had no difficulty understanding the pastor's homily nor the singing of the choir. I heard the music for the first time post implant, and to my surprise, it didn't sound the way I "remembered" it. I had to remind myself that hearing aids had amplified sound of a piano, organ, other musical instrument, and what I was hearing was at "normal" volume.
After the service, we went downstairs for refreshments which the church family had prepared for us, and I mingled around. I had no difficulty in carrying on conversations. We said our good byes and I drove to my cousin's house, ditched the church clothes for bare feet, shorts and a shirt. Later, one of my friends from deaf school days came by and I showed her my cochlear implant sound processor and explained how it worked. She was delighted for me.
Later, sitting with my family, Aunt, cousins, second cousins, outside that evening, I could hear the fire in the fire pit, the logs snapping, crackling, popping. I heard the cascading waterfall of the pool. I had asked one of my cousins earlier if the chirping noise were birds. He said he didn't think so.
The next night, I heard the chirping again, and told my younger sister, who told me that the chirping noises were crickets! She said it was a relaxing sound, and I said I didn't know if it was relaxing, but I was glad she identified the chirping sound for me! I could understand snatches of the conversation as the evening got dark, but still missed some of what was said. I decided to just focus on listening as auditory training. Still, when I think what my journey has been like for nearly ten months, it has been simply amazing. From first hearing voices as sounding like people were talking underwater, to understanding speech to scratchy singing, that's pretty good!
I am not yet at the point where I can fully understand a phone conversation without the aid of captioning or use a cell phone. I can definitely hear a person talking on a cell phone from a distance, but I cannot fully comprehend speech a hundred percent. I haven't yet tried out a cell phone to see if I can understand the conversation.
I hear airport announcements at the airport, but cannot fully comprehend what is being said. I still have to ask for clarification if I do not understand something. I can understand the flight attendants announce the boarding when a person holds up that mike thing with a cord. I can even understand part of the safety drill being spoken several rows down from the flight attendant, and that's progress.
We all reluctantly said our good byes and returned home. We all returned to work. When I was leaving the subway station earlier this evening, I could hear a musical instrument over the noise of home bound commuters and the road noise. As I approached the exit, I realized I was hearing a small harp being played by a young woman. I paused and listened and could pick out high to low sounds from that harp.
What a unexpected treat!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Introductions
Someone recently raised the question on a social network page whether to identify oneself as a Cochlear Implant (CI) user or as a deaf person. Well, that intrigued me, so I gave the question some thought. I did introduce myself in college as being deaf and someone who spoke and lipread. I explained my limitations in the classroom. But in a social situation? No, I always say, "Hello, I'm Mindy," and leave it at that. I also have explained my limitations in the workplace.
As I have been deaf since I was a toddler, people figure out pretty quickly that I am deaf. I am a CI user who just happens to be deaf. For someone who was deafened later in life, as a teenager, adult or senior citizen who has what I call "hearing memory," there may be no need to identify yourself as a person who is deaf. Being deaf is an invisible disability. I agree with that.
I still am deaf when I take off my sound processor at night, or when I shower or bathe, or go to sleep.
I think it is a matter of personal choice whether one wants to identify himself or herself as a person with a hearing disability. I may do that if I am in a noisy situation.
Another reminder that I live in a hearing world.
Hearing is such a gift, noisy or not.
As I have been deaf since I was a toddler, people figure out pretty quickly that I am deaf. I am a CI user who just happens to be deaf. For someone who was deafened later in life, as a teenager, adult or senior citizen who has what I call "hearing memory," there may be no need to identify yourself as a person who is deaf. Being deaf is an invisible disability. I agree with that.
I still am deaf when I take off my sound processor at night, or when I shower or bathe, or go to sleep.
I think it is a matter of personal choice whether one wants to identify himself or herself as a person with a hearing disability. I may do that if I am in a noisy situation.
Another reminder that I live in a hearing world.
Hearing is such a gift, noisy or not.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Test of Time
I went on line last night, and on the spur of the moment, decided to search the Internet to see if my pre-school of deaf school days in the South still existed. It is still there, after all these years. The school is sixty-three years old today. It was there my parents learned of yet another school in the Midwest, from pre-kindergarten through Grade 12, one that was founded even earlier than my old pre-school of deaf school days.
I owe a tremendous debt to these two schools for the deaf - both of which promote oral education, the use of hearing aids, other auxiliary aids, cochlear implants, speech, lipreading, elementary school subjects, and literacy. These schools laid the foundation for me to successfully communicate using my voice, by lipreading and usage of hearing aids in a hearing world.
Like it or not, we live in a world where people hear. My parents, bless their souls, being hearing, wanted what they thought was best for me. I have said over and over, I am so grateful they did. I was blessed in that I was able to utilize hearing aids, learned to lipread, speak and succeed. Once I was mainstreamed into public schools with hearing students, I never returned to a school for the deaf. I graduated from a high school with hearing peers, I graduated from a university in the South with a bachelor's and masters' degree, also with hearing students.
I think it is telling that deaf schools which promote oral education have stood the test of time while many state schools for the deaf which promoted sign language no longer exist. There's a lot to be said for that.
Here's my pet peeve with the Audism Movement. All this talk about cultural genocide and forcing cochlear implants on infants without their consent suggests that hearing mothers and fathers are not "fit" parents. Here's the flip side of the coin: what if Hearing Society decided today that all deaf men and women who are of childbearing age should be sterilized so they won't have deaf babies?
Imagine the outrage. The American Civil Liberties Union would be all over this. Some of us remember when people of color and people who were mentally challenged WERE sterilized without their consent or knowledge so they wouldn't have children.
It is absolutely devastating to a hearing adult to suddenly lose his or her hearing. That hearing adult has hearing memory, and remembers what it is like to have "normal hearing." It is only natural that hearing parents, upon learning they have a deaf child are devastated. Think about it. Hearing is all they KNOW. They don't have a clue of what deafness is other than the fact that their child cannot hear.
Most parents, whether they have a disability or not, want what is best for their child. Who has the right to label them [hearing parents] as "unfit" or deserving to have their genitalia cut off if they "force" their babies to be implanted with cochlear implants, or, if they cannot afford the cochlear implants, to use hearing aids, and to learn to speak, lipread? I haven't heard of an infant or child being killed with a cochlear implant. Certainly there are risks, there is risk with any surgery, even dental surgery.
If that deaf child does poorly with hearing aids, is not a good lipreader nor speaks coherently or well, then sign language is a better option. One caveat: If you are a hearing parent, are reading this, and are feeling like a failure because your deaf child is not successful in speaking, lipreading, hearing aid usage, DON'T. You did what you thought was best, now move on.
Not all deaf people are successful in speaking, lipreading or in using hearing aids. That's okay. That's really okay, and you are not a failure.
Just don't crucify the hearing parents if they choose for their deaf child, an oral education, hearing aids, cochlear implants, and immersion into hearing society. They feel guilty enough for giving birth to a child, in their eyes, that is less than perfect.
There are many of us who are deaf who were born before cochlear implants even existed. We have paid dearly just because we ARE deaf. We have been treated differently. People have wrongly assumed we cannot communicate as well as Hearing Society, whether it be by means of the written word, speech or sign language. Should we go on in life carrying a chip on our shoulder against Hearing Society because of real or imagined wrongs against us? What is the point in that?
I honestly believe that one day cochlear implants will be covered by all private health insurance - 80% to 90% coverage, and that cochlear implants will be affordable for all who qualify for a cochlear implant or two.
I am delighted there are deaf cochlear implant recipients who, after being implanted as babies or toddlers, are now medical doctors and dentists, lawyers. Cochlear implants have afforded these people a level playing field with their hearing peers, especially when it comes to having skill sets that are in demand in today's labor market, and salaries commensurate with the hearing workforce.
While I am not a doctor or a lawyer, I have succeeded, and continue to succeed, in Hearing Society. Having a cochlear implant, has broadened my horizons, and I am anxious for more. Hearing is such a gift and a blessing. My successes have been a long time in coming, which is why I don't take success for granted. Thank God for all that auditory training, the rhythm classes, the endless speech therapy, the hearing tests, the hearing aid fitting, more hearing aids over time, the tutoring, all the volunteers who took notes for me in classes as my hearing continued to deteriorate. Having parents and family who were dedicated to seeing me succeed was crucial. All this set the foundation for my successful eight month old journey as a cochlear implant recipient.
Just goes to say you CAN teach an older dog new tricks!
I owe a tremendous debt to these two schools for the deaf - both of which promote oral education, the use of hearing aids, other auxiliary aids, cochlear implants, speech, lipreading, elementary school subjects, and literacy. These schools laid the foundation for me to successfully communicate using my voice, by lipreading and usage of hearing aids in a hearing world.
Like it or not, we live in a world where people hear. My parents, bless their souls, being hearing, wanted what they thought was best for me. I have said over and over, I am so grateful they did. I was blessed in that I was able to utilize hearing aids, learned to lipread, speak and succeed. Once I was mainstreamed into public schools with hearing students, I never returned to a school for the deaf. I graduated from a high school with hearing peers, I graduated from a university in the South with a bachelor's and masters' degree, also with hearing students.
I think it is telling that deaf schools which promote oral education have stood the test of time while many state schools for the deaf which promoted sign language no longer exist. There's a lot to be said for that.
Here's my pet peeve with the Audism Movement. All this talk about cultural genocide and forcing cochlear implants on infants without their consent suggests that hearing mothers and fathers are not "fit" parents. Here's the flip side of the coin: what if Hearing Society decided today that all deaf men and women who are of childbearing age should be sterilized so they won't have deaf babies?
Imagine the outrage. The American Civil Liberties Union would be all over this. Some of us remember when people of color and people who were mentally challenged WERE sterilized without their consent or knowledge so they wouldn't have children.
It is absolutely devastating to a hearing adult to suddenly lose his or her hearing. That hearing adult has hearing memory, and remembers what it is like to have "normal hearing." It is only natural that hearing parents, upon learning they have a deaf child are devastated. Think about it. Hearing is all they KNOW. They don't have a clue of what deafness is other than the fact that their child cannot hear.
Most parents, whether they have a disability or not, want what is best for their child. Who has the right to label them [hearing parents] as "unfit" or deserving to have their genitalia cut off if they "force" their babies to be implanted with cochlear implants, or, if they cannot afford the cochlear implants, to use hearing aids, and to learn to speak, lipread? I haven't heard of an infant or child being killed with a cochlear implant. Certainly there are risks, there is risk with any surgery, even dental surgery.
If that deaf child does poorly with hearing aids, is not a good lipreader nor speaks coherently or well, then sign language is a better option. One caveat: If you are a hearing parent, are reading this, and are feeling like a failure because your deaf child is not successful in speaking, lipreading, hearing aid usage, DON'T. You did what you thought was best, now move on.
Not all deaf people are successful in speaking, lipreading or in using hearing aids. That's okay. That's really okay, and you are not a failure.
Just don't crucify the hearing parents if they choose for their deaf child, an oral education, hearing aids, cochlear implants, and immersion into hearing society. They feel guilty enough for giving birth to a child, in their eyes, that is less than perfect.
There are many of us who are deaf who were born before cochlear implants even existed. We have paid dearly just because we ARE deaf. We have been treated differently. People have wrongly assumed we cannot communicate as well as Hearing Society, whether it be by means of the written word, speech or sign language. Should we go on in life carrying a chip on our shoulder against Hearing Society because of real or imagined wrongs against us? What is the point in that?
I honestly believe that one day cochlear implants will be covered by all private health insurance - 80% to 90% coverage, and that cochlear implants will be affordable for all who qualify for a cochlear implant or two.
I am delighted there are deaf cochlear implant recipients who, after being implanted as babies or toddlers, are now medical doctors and dentists, lawyers. Cochlear implants have afforded these people a level playing field with their hearing peers, especially when it comes to having skill sets that are in demand in today's labor market, and salaries commensurate with the hearing workforce.
While I am not a doctor or a lawyer, I have succeeded, and continue to succeed, in Hearing Society. Having a cochlear implant, has broadened my horizons, and I am anxious for more. Hearing is such a gift and a blessing. My successes have been a long time in coming, which is why I don't take success for granted. Thank God for all that auditory training, the rhythm classes, the endless speech therapy, the hearing tests, the hearing aid fitting, more hearing aids over time, the tutoring, all the volunteers who took notes for me in classes as my hearing continued to deteriorate. Having parents and family who were dedicated to seeing me succeed was crucial. All this set the foundation for my successful eight month old journey as a cochlear implant recipient.
Just goes to say you CAN teach an older dog new tricks!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Ignorance, Bias and Fear
There's a new show on the ABC Family Channel. It's called "Switched at Birth." There were some inaccuracies on that show about cochlear implants - that cochlear implants was "brain surgery." Well, excuse me, my surgeon didn't cut into my brain to implant the cochlear implant. The surgical incision was directly behind my left ear.
It has been more than nine months since I had my cochlear implant surgery, eight months since the implant was turned on. I'm still deaf. I'm a deaf person with a cochlear implant. I like the show, "Switched at Birth," but I wish the producers had gotten their facts straight before airing that episode in which Daphne's mother says getting a cochlear implant is brain surgery. Some producers will do anything for ratings. Still, "Switched at Birth" is a good show and I enjoy watching it.
I've never been a parent. I am the only deaf relative in my family. My siblings are hearing. My nieces and nephews are hearing. I speak and lipread. My attempts at signing and fingerspelling is that of a five year old. I admit to being just abysmal at sign language - especially fingerspelling.
Not everybody can speak and lipread coherently, I'll be the first person to say that. I was reading a social network page, and on that page there was a comment from someone from deaf school days who suggested that hearing parents who force cochlear implants on deaf babies without their consent should have their "private parts' cut off.
I thought about that comment for a moment. It saddened me. Then I thought about how much joy I get from hearing with a cochlear implant, and immediately my spirits lifted.
The last eight months have been so life-altering it is hard for me to put it in words.
I have made new friends. I have more energy now, because I don't have to work so hard to lipread. I am no longer so physically drained from the work challenges in my office, that I go home and sleep for 13 hours straight.
I was already at the point where hearing aids were not helping me as far as understanding speech. Last April 2010, I tested within the physical limits of the audiogram. I am not a deaf person who grew up with deaf culture. My world, for the most part, has been in a hearing world. I am still the only deaf person in my immediate office.
What I have come to understand over time, is that people who are deaf can be just as biased as someone who is a minority. You know it when someone says, "You are not black enough because you are trying too hard to be white." Well, there are deaf people who would reject me as being "Deaf," because my first language is not Sign Language, I speak, lipread, wore hearing aids from age two and a half until eight months ago. I can no more "hide" being deaf than someone with a dark complexion can hide his or her color.
I am too deaf for that. If I were what hearing society calls "hard of hearing," then yeah, I could fake being a hearing person for a while until someone figured it out.
My hearing journey has not been easy. Hearing with a cochlear implant as a deaf adult is challenging. Not wearing a hearing aid in my non-implanted ear for the last eight months was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I put on my hearing aid in my right ear for about a week last month. Right away I could tell the difference in the fidelity of my ancient nine year old behind the ear hearing aid and the fidelity, quality of sound with the cochlear implant. The quality of sound with the hearing aid was very poor compared with the quality of sound with the cochlear implant. I took the hearing aid off and haven't put it back in since.
Bias comes from ignorance. People tend to be afraid of what they don't know. I think a lot of deaf people fear a cochlear implant because they are afraid somehow that a cochlear implant will make them less "Deaf." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant. The cochlear implant did not "cure" my deafness. I am still deaf when I take off the sound processor at night and recharge the battery. I still depend on a dawn simulator lamp to wake me up in the morning. I still rely on visual cues, probably because people who have been deafened at a young age tend to be very visual.
I am not to the point where I can talk on the telephone without the aid of captioning. While I can now understand words and some complete sentences, it is more challenging to hear speech in a noisy environment. I still use a data only Blackberry. The process of hearing with a cochlear implant is exactly that, a process. I will get a cell phone when I am confident I can hear and fully understand speech over a cell phone.
The decision to get a cochlear implant was very personal for me. It was a decision that was totally 100% mine.
I would never force a cochlear implant on anyone who didn't want a cochlear implant. I still plan on having my right ear implanted when the time and circumstances are right. My friends who have cochlear implants in both ears tell me it is like stereo "surround sound."
Now that I have had my cochlear implant for nine months, I want to hear more. As for being 100% deaf after implantation? With my left ear, I had the cochlear implant done in what audiologists call my "worst" ear. I had so little residual hearing left in that ear, I didn't miss it.
I can only speak for what is my own truth, what is real for me.
I would be a liar if I said that I had never been hurt, experienced discrimination because of my deafness. I have never had an issue with being deaf. NEVER. What I have had issues with, is how people perceive my ability to be successful in a hearing world BECAUSE I am deaf.
My older sister said to me recently, that she didn't fathom how deaf I was until I described in a earlier blog that with the cochlear implant, I could hear myself typing on the computer keyboard. That just blew her mind, and it was a real aha! moment for my sister.
There was a co-worker, who has since left my organization, who once told me that shaking my head "yes," in a meeting made me "look stupid," and that I would be "better off," if I didn't shake my head, "yes." Being hearing, the fool didn't have a clue that my nodding my head, "yes," was a perfectly natural, visual reaction for a deaf person. I just simply told him I would take his "constructive criticism" into consideration. That seemed to please him and he left my office. I remember shaking my head at this person's idiocy.
Certainly I have been treated differently because of my deafness. ABSOLUTELY. That still hasn't changed because I have a cochlear implant. As soon as I start talking, people recognize that I am not hearing. Again, I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant.
I am NOT going to use my deafness as my personal platform to impose upon people about what I think somebody should do. My deafness doesn't define who I am as a person. It never has.
A cochlear implant hasn't magically made my challenges as a deaf person go away. What a cochlear implant has done for me, it has greatly improved my quality of life. I feel like I am hearing in High Definition. People talk about how High Definition Flat Screen TV has really enhanced their television viewing. Well, I'm hearing in technicolor, high definition and stereo!
Well that's my sermon for this Sunday!
It has been more than nine months since I had my cochlear implant surgery, eight months since the implant was turned on. I'm still deaf. I'm a deaf person with a cochlear implant. I like the show, "Switched at Birth," but I wish the producers had gotten their facts straight before airing that episode in which Daphne's mother says getting a cochlear implant is brain surgery. Some producers will do anything for ratings. Still, "Switched at Birth" is a good show and I enjoy watching it.
I've never been a parent. I am the only deaf relative in my family. My siblings are hearing. My nieces and nephews are hearing. I speak and lipread. My attempts at signing and fingerspelling is that of a five year old. I admit to being just abysmal at sign language - especially fingerspelling.
Not everybody can speak and lipread coherently, I'll be the first person to say that. I was reading a social network page, and on that page there was a comment from someone from deaf school days who suggested that hearing parents who force cochlear implants on deaf babies without their consent should have their "private parts' cut off.
I thought about that comment for a moment. It saddened me. Then I thought about how much joy I get from hearing with a cochlear implant, and immediately my spirits lifted.
The last eight months have been so life-altering it is hard for me to put it in words.
I have made new friends. I have more energy now, because I don't have to work so hard to lipread. I am no longer so physically drained from the work challenges in my office, that I go home and sleep for 13 hours straight.
I was already at the point where hearing aids were not helping me as far as understanding speech. Last April 2010, I tested within the physical limits of the audiogram. I am not a deaf person who grew up with deaf culture. My world, for the most part, has been in a hearing world. I am still the only deaf person in my immediate office.
What I have come to understand over time, is that people who are deaf can be just as biased as someone who is a minority. You know it when someone says, "You are not black enough because you are trying too hard to be white." Well, there are deaf people who would reject me as being "Deaf," because my first language is not Sign Language, I speak, lipread, wore hearing aids from age two and a half until eight months ago. I can no more "hide" being deaf than someone with a dark complexion can hide his or her color.
I am too deaf for that. If I were what hearing society calls "hard of hearing," then yeah, I could fake being a hearing person for a while until someone figured it out.
My hearing journey has not been easy. Hearing with a cochlear implant as a deaf adult is challenging. Not wearing a hearing aid in my non-implanted ear for the last eight months was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I put on my hearing aid in my right ear for about a week last month. Right away I could tell the difference in the fidelity of my ancient nine year old behind the ear hearing aid and the fidelity, quality of sound with the cochlear implant. The quality of sound with the hearing aid was very poor compared with the quality of sound with the cochlear implant. I took the hearing aid off and haven't put it back in since.
Bias comes from ignorance. People tend to be afraid of what they don't know. I think a lot of deaf people fear a cochlear implant because they are afraid somehow that a cochlear implant will make them less "Deaf." Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant. The cochlear implant did not "cure" my deafness. I am still deaf when I take off the sound processor at night and recharge the battery. I still depend on a dawn simulator lamp to wake me up in the morning. I still rely on visual cues, probably because people who have been deafened at a young age tend to be very visual.
I am not to the point where I can talk on the telephone without the aid of captioning. While I can now understand words and some complete sentences, it is more challenging to hear speech in a noisy environment. I still use a data only Blackberry. The process of hearing with a cochlear implant is exactly that, a process. I will get a cell phone when I am confident I can hear and fully understand speech over a cell phone.
The decision to get a cochlear implant was very personal for me. It was a decision that was totally 100% mine.
I would never force a cochlear implant on anyone who didn't want a cochlear implant. I still plan on having my right ear implanted when the time and circumstances are right. My friends who have cochlear implants in both ears tell me it is like stereo "surround sound."
Now that I have had my cochlear implant for nine months, I want to hear more. As for being 100% deaf after implantation? With my left ear, I had the cochlear implant done in what audiologists call my "worst" ear. I had so little residual hearing left in that ear, I didn't miss it.
I can only speak for what is my own truth, what is real for me.
I would be a liar if I said that I had never been hurt, experienced discrimination because of my deafness. I have never had an issue with being deaf. NEVER. What I have had issues with, is how people perceive my ability to be successful in a hearing world BECAUSE I am deaf.
My older sister said to me recently, that she didn't fathom how deaf I was until I described in a earlier blog that with the cochlear implant, I could hear myself typing on the computer keyboard. That just blew her mind, and it was a real aha! moment for my sister.
There was a co-worker, who has since left my organization, who once told me that shaking my head "yes," in a meeting made me "look stupid," and that I would be "better off," if I didn't shake my head, "yes." Being hearing, the fool didn't have a clue that my nodding my head, "yes," was a perfectly natural, visual reaction for a deaf person. I just simply told him I would take his "constructive criticism" into consideration. That seemed to please him and he left my office. I remember shaking my head at this person's idiocy.
Certainly I have been treated differently because of my deafness. ABSOLUTELY. That still hasn't changed because I have a cochlear implant. As soon as I start talking, people recognize that I am not hearing. Again, I am still a deaf person with a cochlear implant.
I am NOT going to use my deafness as my personal platform to impose upon people about what I think somebody should do. My deafness doesn't define who I am as a person. It never has.
A cochlear implant hasn't magically made my challenges as a deaf person go away. What a cochlear implant has done for me, it has greatly improved my quality of life. I feel like I am hearing in High Definition. People talk about how High Definition Flat Screen TV has really enhanced their television viewing. Well, I'm hearing in technicolor, high definition and stereo!
Well that's my sermon for this Sunday!
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