Deaf but not exactly Hearing, either

Today is Easter Sunday.  It was cloudy, rainy and chilly.  It was a good day to stay inside and read.  I just finished reading the Kindle version of "He is not me," by Stuart McNaughton.  As a deaf person who has grown up in a hearing world, I could identify with Stuart.  Stuart lives in England and he just published his book.  Every deaf person who is oral, speaks and lipreads, and grew up in a hearing family should read the book.

I have changed and grown so much since first being implanted in my left ear in October, 2010. I had my right ear implanted in February, 2012.  Yesterday was Doctor's Day, and I would have liked to have thanked my surgeon yet once again.  He is on the West Coast now, so distance separates us.

Cochlear Implants allows me to function as a hearing person each day as I put on my cochlear implant processors and leave in the early dawn hours for work.  Yet, every day when I come home and get ready for bed at night and lay down in bed to sleep, I am deaf again.

Cochlear Implants are not a cure for deafness, but it certainly has made my existence in a hearing world easier.  I no longer struggle to understand conversations in a noisy environment, at work, or in my everyday interactions with a hearing public. I am a more relaxed driver now that I can hear emergency and police sirens long before the vehicle enters my field of vision.

I definitely have more confidence in myself.  That has been a long time coming. It has been an experience going from a "no you can't do that because you are deaf" mindset to "I can do these things with my cochlear implants." For so long, deaf people have been held back because of their disability. I certainly was limited by my deafness. Absolutely.

I see a future where I contribute my knowledge and skill set in situations where deaf people may need reasonable accommodation in the workplace while recuperating from cochlear implant surgery.  There is a knowledge gap among medical personnel, human resources and management when it comes to reintroducing a newly implanted person back into the workforce.  Many supervisors really don't know how to accommodate someone who is deaf and newly implanted with a cochlear implant, or two. 

I still remember with the utmost clarity the day I went on a job interview, freshly out of graduate school.  I had just finished telling the interviewer my capabilities, only to be told, "That's fine, Jane Doe, but what is it that you CAN'T do?"  I would love to go back in time and tell that person, with cochlear implants, I can fully function in the workplace, including answering the telephone!

I still have my deaf habits.  I am still a very visual person.  I still lipread, but I am also hearing what I lipread.  To this day, I prefer backing my car into a parking space so that I can see in front of me when I am pulling out of a space.  I also toot my horn when backing out of a parking space.  Not because I can't hear other people or cars.  I still drive with my day light running lights on.  I also will turn on my headlights when I am passing a semi truck on the interstate so the truck driver can see me.  All because of habit, and years of being profoundly deaf. I'm still profoundly deaf. That hasn't changed

Helen Keller once said that deafness cuts off one from people.  Well, with cochlear implants, that no longer has to be the case.

I no longer feel isolated.  As a single deaf person, I am very good at entertaining myself, and I had to learn to be alone and not to fear it.  I rarely am bored because there is always something to do. If I feel lonesome, all I have to do is e-mail someone, call someone, or do something for someone who has a need.

I still continue to be stunned at how deaf I am.  I still am in awe of what cochlear implants are doing for me.  I still enjoy hearing the birds in the early hours of the morning as I leave for work.

Learning to hear with cochlear implants has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding.

Amazing.