Hearing Memory

As someone who has been deaf since around age two and a half, I have no "hearing memory" of what it means to hear "normally." 

 For me, "normal hearing" with analog hearing aids is my conscious "hearing memory."  I never did like digital hearing aids, even though I wore digital behind the ear hearing aids for ten years prior to getting my first cochlear implant.

It took me a long time - it wasn't until I could "hear" bilaterally with cochlear implants that I had a better sense of my own "hearing memory" and what I wanted in hearing with cochlear implants.

Two years and three months of hearing with one cochlear implant, and one year of hearing with two cochlear implants, I can hear with the aid of bilateral cochlear implants.  I hear environmental noises.  I hear high, middle and low frequencies.

I am very happy with this last mapping, and now feel comfortable in hearing bilaterally with cochlear implants.

Those of us who deafness is "our normal," we want to hear everything.  For me, that means being able to hear my car idle, the gears shift, the turn signal clicking, the 18 wheeler truck's engine idling behind me at a traffic signal.  Being able to hear a jackhammer from inside the kitchen of my townhouse a block away. The sound of birds chirping and twittering in the early hours of the morning.

Here's something that's telling. For someone who was late deafened, the sound of the grocery cart wheels around the aisle made her tense up because she couldn't tolerate the sound.  For me, I had never heard the sound of the grocery cart wheels, but I could tell from the squeaking sound that someone was coming in my direction, and I could say, "Excuse me." 

To me, not having grocery cart collisions in the grocery store is a relief!  There is one sound that I absolutely hate.  The sound of someone chewing and snapping gum in my office all day long. I am learning to tune that particular sound out, but I still do not like that sound.

Some people do not like the sound of wind.  Others find that the sound of a ticking clock bothers them.  When I was growing up, my parents had clocks with pendulums all over the house.  All with a different sound "flavor," and reassuring me as each clock chimed the hour.

Speech recognition continues to improve, but it is taking time. I find that bilaterally, I can hear and understand simple sentences without lipreading.  That was impossible for me to do in August, 2010.

I still am a very visual person, and still have my "deaf habits."  I had someone tell me last week I had a unique accent, and she asked where I was from.  I told her.  I probably should have said this is my deaf southern accent!!  I mean no malice.  Deaf people do have a sense of humor, and it takes a deaf person to understand my humor in this instance!

Hearing bilaterally with cochlear implants continues to be a gift which I cherish everyday.

I am blessed.